Naked in my Garden and Covered in Blood (Pictures)

This is my last blog post. It is time to hang up my schlong and return to civilization. I doubt they’ll want me back but they won’t have much of a choice when I threaten to release the tapes of those politicians and that poor sex seal. To end this blog/horrible disaster properly I needed something big. I’ve been through a lot in the last 6 months… pregnancy tests, hundreds of hangovers, cat murder, and all the other things that life can throw at you. But what happened on the 4th of July dwarfed anything that came before it. I celebrated this great nation’s birthday with blood, alcohol and nakedness. Read on young warriors. The pictures at the end will no doubt ruin my life.

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